Could the Opie & Anthony 'Suspension' be an Elaborate Hoax?

After a few days of blood-boiling stress and despair over the Opie & Anthony ‘suspension’ from XM, my nerves settled down. My XM is canceled, and I’m forced to watch cable. Yuck.

Then I started to think about the whole situation. Something just wasn’t right in the universe. Why would XM, a pay-service that promises ‘uncut and uncensored’ content, with channel blocking, suspend their top-rated talk show hosts for something a homeless man said? Especially when it’s nothing compared to what Opie & Anthony have said on XM in the past. Either spouting spiteful comments about management, or on whatever subject they desired, be it rape, incest, torture, violence, hookers, transsexuals, boogers on couches, kicking dogs in the liver, stepping on a homeless man’s cake (a funny bit too, don’t worry, that homeless man made out like a bandit. He had enough money to buy 10 cakes after that walkover incident) etc. etc.

Why did this one comment get them suspension when we all know much worse has happened on-air before this incident? Think about some of the comments Opie, Anthony, and especially Jim Norton have made off-the-cuff, and received no repercussions. Or what about the three times they almost did get fired, weren’t they worse?

An old saying popped into my mind, “There Is No Bad Publicity”.

Think about how much XM, Opie & Anthony, CBS Radio, Free FM, Ron & Fez, and other terms have been coming up in the news lately. A lot. Isn’t that what Opie & Anthony were trying to achieve with their “Assault On The Media”? Keep this in mind. Other than being brilliant talk show hosts, their also pretty crafty. They love to mess with the press, and the listeners.

A lot of scenarios have been floating around my tired brain and this is what I think is probably happening…maybe I’m crazy, maybe it might be something to consider:

After Homeless Charley’s Pryor-like comments, and Opie & Anthony having an honest laugh about it live on the air, a watchdog group heard it, and submitted it to all the proper channels. It got minor press and a minor shrug of the shoulders from the concerned parties, Condellezza Rice, Laura Bush, and Queen Elizabeth, obviously big Opie & Anthony fans and no doubt subscribers to XM (that is called a joke…bad as it may be, it’s a joke). Opie & Anthony being the media manipulators that they are, got together with XM management and CBS management, and devised a plan. A way to get any slack off their back, to really test the loyalty of the Opie & Anthony listeners, to help get the Sirius merger through, and to get more press for all concerned. A FAKE SUSPENSION!

Opie & Anthony have talked about radio DJ’s pulling the ‘fake suspension’, or a two-week vacation, a few times. It’s usually with pay, but it’s also a way to get the presses rolling about the show, and to get fans to rally around the show. It’s also a way to test out how popular a show is. It’s also a way to get a lot of free press. Milk the current publicty over Don Imus and JV and Elvis. Did I mention it’s a way to get A LOT OF FREE PUBLICITY! Look at their own history. They’ve done it before and they’ve admitted it.

Now you’re probably asking yourself, "How would this benefit the companies they work for?" I’ll say it again….A LOT OF FREE PUBLICITY!

First, CBS benefits by having Opie & Anthony exclusive for a month, and the boys get to do a 3 hour show a day….with pay. They are pretty lazy by nature and would jump at the chance for a short work day.

Second, XM benefits by figuring out how popular the show really is, it would strengthen Opie & Anthony’s position with the company when the merger with Sirius happens. Mel Karmazin would be crazy to fire them for a stupid reason (like “Howard told me too”) after what happened after their ‘suspension’ this week. He would look at them with dollar signs in his eyes instead of the usual disgust. According from reports, there are probably over 40,000 cancellations over this, maybe more. This is out of over 7 million subscribers. You do the math. Now think of all the people who hate Opie & Anthony, people who were actually offended by the comments of a deranged homeless drunk. They see the ‘suspension’ as a victory for their special interest cause. They sign up with the newer, cleaner XM. How many do you think signed up online for service after the ‘suspension’? How many ‘red states’ are there in America? How many ‘bible-thumping’ states are there? I’ll state it again. How many people hate Opie & Anthony. It’s probably more than the ones that love them. After a month of boring radio on CBS, the radar will be switched off, XM will let Opie & Anthony return, letting them go back to what they were doing before: funny and edgy radio, as free as it was before. The loyal listeners will return in droves, and XM gets more subscribers than ever.

Third, Opie & Anthony benefit by getting their names in the papers and news websites across the world, cause confusion, and feed their media whore appetites. It also gives their fans, a.k.a. “The Pests”, carnage for their blood-thirsty appetites. Something Curtis Silwa said on Hannity and Colmes a few nights ago stuck in my head….they were suspended with pay. Is that really a suspension, or a paid vacation? Has anyone else noticed that they seem to be unusually happy on their CBS show, very tight-lipped about the whole situation? Maybe they’re doing it intentionally. To keep the drama going.

Fourth, XM is building them a new studio, which will take them about a month to finish. Which would mean they would have to do their show from the CBS Studios. CBS has their own show broadcasting from that same studio, so there would be a lot of conflict.

I think the Opie & Anthony and XM listeners were all duped.

The more I think about it, the more it makes sense. It makes sense out of a situation that made no sense whatsoever.

If you think you may have some more to add to this theory, drop me a line at radionewshound@gmail.com, and I'll compile all the tips for a future article.